More than a few of us remember those days when we played along the shores of a river, lake, or on the beach and, finding a suitable stone, threw it upon the water in such a way that it skipped along the surface. Our goal was to see how far we could cause it to travel before losing its momentum and sinking.

It appears to me that some of us are living like the skipping stone. We choose to remain on the surface of things as long as possible, resisting deeper engagement. Doing so we may have established the habit of greeting others with causal, “Hi, how’s it going?” and receive a similar causal response, “Very well, thanks!” and feel comfortable leaving it there. Even at social events in which we typically spend more time with others, our conversations seem so often to be shallow and relatively meaningless in such a way that we are relieved when we depart.

With members of our own families, we may find ourselves passing like ships in the night, utilizing trite expressions of greeting and departing as means of avoiding deeper life-giving and love-giving engagement.

Have you witnessed or experienced it?

Why do some choose to live that way? Do we feel we don’t have time for deeper engagement? Are we too guarded with our own space to share it with another? Perhaps we feel too insecure to engage, preferring to keep things at a more manageable level where we are less vulnerable.

I ask you, are we willing to turn up our sensitivity level to the point of really listening to another; to hear both the obvious and the subliminal signals being given, inviting us to deeper engagement? Are we willing to trust another in such a way that we open our closed gates to genuine encounter? Are we willing to see ourselves in company with others on the important journey of life and move to value the interpersonal experience as something worth our time and effort?

It is at that deeper level we discover the delicious juices of authentic acquaintance and friendship. There we find our way out of isolation and loneliness. That’s the level at which life can find its verve. It is there that we discover reality that contains so much potential for living meaningfully.

At my age, I still find it fun to skip rocks, but I am convinced that my life is much richer when I limit the skipping to throwing stones upon the water while seeking deeper engagement with the world around me. While I don’t always succeed, the times I do prove to me that going deeper is the better way.